Marriage By Devotion

Marriage by Devotion (MBD) is the Work of the Author,
Dr. Philip ‘Jay’ Jegede,
and may not necessarily represents the position of
Canon Research Theological Seminary.

 Pre-Marriage, Marriage & Family Uplifting.

Marriage by Devotion (MBD)
By Dr. Philip ‘Jay’ Jegede, PhD.
Copyright 2012 US TX-7-599-767 & EU
A re-definition of the concept of marriage.
Scheduled For Publication

Marriage by Devotion (MBD) Model created by Rev. Dr. Philip I Jegede is a new model for pre-marriage examination, and marriage security against divorce. In the doctrine of MBD, Dr. Jegede re-defines the concept of what love and marriage is or should be. MBD reveals with probity that humans are not capable of love as decreed by God. Hence, they are to marry and stay married forever not solely for the feelings of love but also as a socially responsible act to humanity, and a spiritual obligation to God and for the glory of God (‘God made them male and female.’ For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh – Jesus Mark 10:6-8) as opposed to being married solely for the feelings of love, or staying married  for financial reasons, or for the sake of the children. MBD defines love as it is currently being practiced by the human race as a content  emotional response that human beings develop over a period of time towards any person, place or thing, whose actions or mere existence places them in a happy, joyous, euphoric, or an orgasmic state of mind. Content Emotional Response is driven by pros and cons, always conditional, and subject to change.

The doctrine of MBD further states that marrying only because we feel deep love for a person is an act of selfishness unconsciously acquired based on the physical, social, economic or emotional benefits we receive from the object of our desires or from the affection we feel from the object through whom the affection radiates. When the object withholds the benefits or when affection ceases to radiate from that object in the way to which we have become accustomed (the feeling of love), resentment builds and the tendency to harm that object, hate that object, or fall out of love with that object intensifies. Hence, the love  humans display towards each other (even if they actually feel it, believe in it, or are consumed in it at any given moment) is not love, it is a quid pro quo  (“a favor for a favor”) under the unwitting guise of love, and based on selfish desires. MBD explains why humans are biologically not capable of unconditional love;  a capacity that was lost when Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, as proven by the first murder on earth, committed by the first human born of a woman – Cain against Abel.  MBD proves with probity that divorce or relationship breakups due to adultery, irreconcilable differences, or any reason whatsoever is an indication of the human failure to love or be loved as commanded by God. LOVE NEVER FAILS! A message biblically reiterated in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

MBD analyzes various scenarios why humans should avoid their emotional self deception with the use of word “love” and “having love in us for our spouses,” ” I married you because I love you”,  “I want to marry you because I love you”, “I love you more than anything in the world”, or “I love you to death” as only the basis for marrying or staying in a marriage. Marriage should not be solely based on physical attraction either. Show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I’ll show you a man in her life now, or in her past, who is bored or was bored of having sex with her or vice versa, regardless of what is or was done to spice things up in physical appearance, or in the bedroom. The beauty in the eyes of a beholder may never die, like old soldiers; they just fade away and always do. This is further better explained using the Economics’ Theory of the law of diminishing returns which states: The principle that further inputs into a system produce ever lower increases in outputs. Any extra input will not produce an equal or worthwhile return. Thus, while early applications of fertilizer may increase yields, further applications will not see a corresponding rise in output, and even further applications may actually damage the crop, as excessive fertilizer can burn plant tissue. Instead, couples should continually devote themselves to seeking knowledge of what makes their spouses feel secure, happy, content, respected, and appreciated, and to express this acquired knowledge in daily practical terms toward their spouses for the glory of God and expect nothing back in return from their spouses. Should their spouses feel loved because of their practical deeds, then they are loving their spouses as Christ loves the Church.  In MBD, divorce is not an option. If humans must divorce, the reason must be permissible by scriptures.

MDB requests that couples should consider their spouse’s personal flaws as a gift from God to them, and their forgiven responses to their spouse’s personal flaws, a gift from their hearts back to God. Considering their filthy closet sins that they know but nobody knows, God sent Jesus to die for them. If God can give His best to save their souls, then no “difference” should be  so “irreconcilable” between spouses to trigger a divorce.  When marriage couples grow old together, so do their love grow old. The sparks may not be there like they were the day they got married, however, they will never experience the joy of old love unless they give their marriage a chance to grow old. Old love is like an old wine, a sip makes you dance like a butterfly. New love is like a soda pop – a lot of sugar( we all know what sugar does to body).

Finally, every marriage must transform from the phase of “Love Sparks” fueled by sexual attraction and other selfish desires, into the phase of “Committed Mutual Devotion to Each Other’s Needs” fueled by the love and command of God to be one flesh.  We are all going get bored of our spouses, the sex is going to get really dull, and we will crave the tendency to cheat or get a divorce and seek new partners. Only the marriages that make the transformation from the phase of “Love Sparks” fueled by sexual attraction and other selfish desires, into the phase of “Committed Mutual Devotion to Each Other’s Needs”, will overcome these temptations. Marriages that do not make this transformation will surely fail. This is the synopsis of the doctrine of Marriage by Devotion (MBD) developed by Dr. Philip I. Jegede, Ph.D Christian Counseling.  Please send your review opinion to: marriage@crtseminary.org